I lead change for a living. I scored in the bottom 2% at handling it.

A few years back I opened a leadership assessment and the two scores totally didn't make sense.

It put me near the top for driving change. Bottom 2% for being comfortable with it.

I read it twice and figured the test was broken.

It wasn't. I lead change well. I also hate going through it.

For years I treated that as a contradiction to manage around. It's the opposite. The discomfort is why the rollouts work.

When you resist change yourself, you don't confuse your own readiness with the organization's. You've felt the thing the plan is about to ask 300 people to feel. So you build for it. The second- and third-order effects get planned, because you're already bracing for them. And when someone raises an objection in the room, you take it seriously. It's the same one running in your own head.

The leaders who love change tend to move fast and assume everyone is behind them. They read their own comfort as the operation's. Then they're surprised six weeks in when the floor hasn't moved, and the workaround is winning.

If you are like me and secretly don't like change, then your caution is a strength, not a weakness to hide. The version of the rollout you're nervous about is usually the one that actually works with the people who have to live it.

So stop trying to fake enthusiasm you don't feel. Name the risk your gut flagged before the deck was finished, out loud, and put it in the plan. Use that instinct to your advantage.

The most empathetic change leaders are almost always the ones who had to work hardest to get okay with change themselves. They're not leading despite the discomfort. They're leading with it.

Reply and tell me about the last change you led that you personally dreaded. I read every one.

Thanks for reading,
Sarah